My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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