After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
