I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
