I cockslap morals
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
