Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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