I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
