Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
