she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
meet me or not, i'm out of control
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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