Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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