I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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