If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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