Buhtt sex?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
