escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
