"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
