I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
