he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
