One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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