So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
