Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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(815): View more from Illinois

$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.

(212): View more from New York

Please take video.

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(914): View more from New York

I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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(406): View more from Montana

But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.

(773): View more from Illinois

You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.

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