i permit you to call me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
