so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize