Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
