is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
