dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
