And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
