Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
