Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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