Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
