Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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