That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How does one acquire holy water?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
