Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
