i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
