After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
