New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
