East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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