And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
