I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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