I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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