2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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