The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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