Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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