left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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