i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I skipped work to stalk him.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
