Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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