Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
