I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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