i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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