am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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