it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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