hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
