btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was confusing and full of hummus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
