I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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