What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Drunk is a universal language darling
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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