i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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