I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
