That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
