i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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