Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
worst night to have a conscience
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your penis caused this!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
