Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
