I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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